Living with your Parents - It's the New Black

I figure I'll take a moment to highlight some of the pros and cons of living with your parents (err, rather my parents). Considering that I'm still paying rent and all in DC, I don't get to go with the obvious benefits like "no rent." I also couldn't go with "free food" or "always food on the table" because that's also not the case around here. I had to dig deeper into the more obscure benefits (and drawbacks) of returning to the nest, even if only temporarily.

For starters, dishes never pile up in the sink. I'm not sure who or what is responsible, but if you put anything in the kitchen sink, it will be gone but not a moment later. Some say it's urban legend, but I assure you, I put a fork in the sink and within one blink it was gone. Oddly, if you leave anything on the bathroom sink, like my toothbrush and facial wash, it will never move. I can only assume that they're afraid if they moved my toothbruch that I would never find it again and in turn my teeth would rot out of my head.

Along with the benefits of the sink phenomenon, come the drawbacks of what I can only describe as "shoe elves." To describe this a little - no matter where I leave my shoes, they will end up in another place. I've been toying with the elves for the past 2 weeks. For example, when I left shoes by the back door, they vanished, presumably placed in a closet somewhere, never to be found again. When I left shoes at the front door, they ended up at the back door. Now, the really interesting thing is that when I left shoes in the den, a room that is occupied by my dad (presumed leader of the elves) for about 85% of the waking hours of the day (and an even greater percentage of the waking hours of his day), they ended up at the bottom of the stairs, but only after several days had elapsed.

Now, like I said, this house isn't abundantly stocked with food supply, however, presumably, if I placed an item on the shopping list it would appear in the cabinets - definitly advantage if this theory proves true. I have yet to test this theory, but with the regular food runs, I think this could come through. One drawback that comes with this, is that the rents don't seem to be as open to dinner suggestions as one might think. In fact, it was like pulling teeth trying to get them to use ground turkey rather than ground beef in the chili. They (speaking thru mom) made the following excuses: we don't like it (then "they" admitted that "they" couldn't tell the difference); we don't know where to find it; dad's rolling his eyes; and finally, my favorite, we don't eat like that (to which, I'm still wondering, like what?). Luckily, the Scaleres 2.0 (Michael, Katie, Maddie, Livi) live close enough and tend to have a) a well stocked fridge, b) more openness to dinner ideas and c) a good open door policy that allows me to stop by there for food (more often than they probably realize).

Some other advantages: I will say that there exists an overwhelming cable package and a 42 inch flat screen tv (apparently with surround sound), which seems to be availabe after 8pm on most days. I'll also say that I was expecting that if I left my car in the driveway long enough with the gas light on that someone would miraculously fill it up, but that hasn't happened yet - disadvantage. I did manage to get a pair of pants taken to the dry cleaner, which I'm hoping come back at some point.

Some things that are always in the house: chocolate ice cream, cool whip, potato chips, and possibly a pot of "gravy" (what non-Scaleres call "marinara sauce") or chicken soup. Also, there are bottles of poland spring and two britas (although I'm not sure how often their filters get replaced). There is also an abundance of 1970's workout equipment in the basement, which deserves an entire blog post unto itself.
As an aside: in the past 5 days I've hit my head twice, once on the trunk of a car and second on the ceiling beams in the basement trying to ride the stationery bike in the standing position - disadvantage!!

And if I'm ever feeling lonely at about 5:45 am, I can find dad up and moving about, working out, and making coffee (although I might've dreamed that).

Let this be a lesson to any of you pondering a move back in with your parents, or at least with my parents. They say it's the new black, but we all really know brown is the new black.

Happy Valentine's Day!! <3

The Kids' Take on the Giants

On Sunday, my brother told my niece, Maddie, that we were having a Super Bowl party (apparently using the term "party" very loosely). He explained to her that we'd have chips and dip for the super bowl. Later that day, she asked "Daddy, what did you tell me about tonight?" He replied, "I said we were having a Super Bowl party." Eventually he put out two bowls of chips for the girls and turned the game on. I sat there watching (shocking, I know) as Maddie and Livi ate chips. Maddie starts talking and says, "Is this the Super Bowl?" and she's repeating it several times (I think kids just like to hear themselves). I finally say, "yes," and she keeps saying "Is this the Super Bowl?" Finally, I look over at her and notice that she's cradling the bowl of Sun Chips and pointing to it. "Oh...no, that's not the super bowl, that's a regular bowl, this game is the Super Bowl." Unfortunately, I could only explain to her that some games are called bowls, like the Rose Bowl and the Orange Bowl - and between me and Mike, that's all we could come up with. Then we explained to her that in this family the super bowl was a game that had very good commercials. Although, this year, obviously, the game proved to be much more interesting than the commercials. (As an aside, this caused us a slight problem - we paused at half time so they could put the kids to bed. By the time he came back, we watched half time, but the game picked up afterwards that we couldn't fast forward through that and we obviously couldn't fast forward through the commercials. So the ultimate dilemma was reached when running on tivo time. We managed to catch up to just about 5-10 minutes behind the actual game).

Today, I was sitting with Maddie while she was coloring and eating yogurt. Satisfied that she was thoroughly distracted, I turned the tv to the Giants' parade (rather than cartoons). Thinking she's not listening to me at all, I told her that this was the Giants' parade. She doesn't respond for several minutes. Finally, she says, "Are they this big?" as she points to her coloring book. "No, they're a team; they're much bigger than that book," I say. "Are they as big as the house?" she asks. Ah - she heard "giants" not "Giants." I just told her, "yeah, they're huge."

They call *this* rock bottom...

Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, you fall another 100 feet . That having been said, I quite like it down here; moreso than I would've expected. This can't possibly be rock bottom - it's far too nice!

More to come when I settle into my newfound surroundings...

American Idol Tuesday

My encounter with the rain this morning:

Me, juggling my regular bag, gym bag, lunch tupperware (in a bag), umbrella, and Express paper (because I can't resist my daily crossword), my metro pass, and reaching for a pencil with not a hand to do anything else, while trying not to fall down on the metro.

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My encounter at the doctor's office today:

Receptionist: we only have one number on file for you, do you want to add another number?
Me: no, I don't have a home number, so that one is fine.
Receptionist: do you have an office number?
Me: I'd rather not have you call my office because it's just a general number; you can always call my cell
Receptionist: you don't have an extension?
Me: I'd rather you not call my office, the cell number is fine
Receptionist: we can put 'do not call' next to it
Me: if you're not going to call then why do you need it?
Receptionist: in case we can't get through on the other number and we have to call
Me: but I don't want you to call my office
Receptionist: ok, I'll let the doctor know
Me: ok, thanks, bye
Receptionist: [click]

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My encounter with the fire alarm today:

It's not so much that I came home and the fire alarm was going off, it's that the fire alarm was going off so quietly that I can only assume it's broken. And I'm not annoyed at the noise it's making, but more disturbed that if there were an actual fire (Ed: so far, no fire on the floor), that pathetic alarm wouldn't alert anyone, especially me and I sleep like a baby. And by "sleep like a baby" I don't mean well, I mean waking up every few hours until I see the light of day.

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Happy Birthday Jordan!

Today's Agenda...

Obtaining [check] and reading [half checked] books on Argentina and Buenos Aires! Going first week in March.

Roasting garlic for some homemade garlic bread [in progress]

Nursing my Monoflumonia-over [it could be a real thing...]

Not getting my car washed [check]

And apparently watching this program on Jews in America....ie, the only thing on tv right now.

Cousin Itt from Start to Finish

Once upon a time, there was a girl. This girl passed the bar exam and 8 months later she was finally being sworn into the NY Bar. She wanted to use this new distinction for good. So, she decided, she would volunteer her time and do pro bono work, every week and help those less fortunate. But reality quickly sank in - she didn't really have a lot of skills to share and although she had plenty of free time, her moderate salary didn't really lend itself to giving away loads of time or money. So she bagged the pro bono notion, got a part-time job and decided the only way she had to help others was to grow and donate her hair. Unfortunately, this decision came on the heels of getting her hair cut quite short (March 2006 - NY bar swearing in ceremony - with godmother Aunt Diane).

She started growing her hair out. There were times it didn't seem to be growing at all (left, fall 2006).

She got bored with her Cousin Itt hair. It became somewhat unruly. The answer - bangs! Even her parents didn't recognize her after this cut (left, Alumni regatta, Tombs after party, May 2007).

(Granted, there's some lapse here in the timeline, but the problem in almost every picture it's up in a ponytail, so it's hard to see if it was growing).

She resorted to pinning Itt back and tying the mass of Itt up in ponytails, pigtails, and braids. Check out that tail! (left, Apple dinner, September 2007).

Finally, she tried just embracing Itt. Flowing locks (Fakesgiving, November 2007). I call this picture, "Hi Mom!"

Here's one last picture of Itt. Admittedly, it's not the greatest shot, but this is Itt at it's longest (December 2007 - Eli's 1st birthday party).

Finally, in late December, she grew fed up with Itt. Itt was clogging up every drain in her apartment and Itt no longer looked presentable. Every day was a different type of ponytail. So - she made a hair appointment and went in to get Itt cut off!

Here Itt is! The tail!! Looks more like a turd to me, but this is all 10 - 12 inches of Itt!! This was cut on one of the last days of December 2007!

It was a bit of a shock at first, but looking back at these pictures she realizes that Itt will grow back and in a relatively short amount of time. Plus, no matter how much she hates the new cut, she knows that the tail will help out a bald cancer patient look a little better or even just feel a little better about herself. However, now every picture she sees of the past 2 years she thinks, "I miss my hair!"

Here's the end result! (New Years Eve, 2007, with Annie).

If you would like to help, check out: http://www.beautifullengths.com/en_US/index_home.jsp

"It's been so long since last we met..."

Yup, that's right folks. I'm back! Sorry for the delay, but I promise some new posts over the next few days. There are definitely some things that I can fill you all in on - if anyone is still reading!

Ok, I'm back. I got a little side tracked there for a while, especially Friday night when I had planned on updating this blog. Long story short - a quick happy hour with Melissa on Friday turned into a Martini fest at the Mayflower hotel and yada yada yada, I'm finally feeling better!

As catch up - after the last time I posted, I went to give blood. I was a little nervous, but happy to be doing some good. Alas, the INOVA blood center didn't like my type (something about a heart condition) and they rejected me. They told me I could give blood after I got my heart valve replaced. I told them I didn't plan on having it replaced! They said, "then you can't give blood here." I told them that I had been ok'd to give blood at the American Red Cross and they said, "That's great - go there and give blood!" Sigh...

I also finally managed to make fudge. After trying my cousin Evan's recipe and ending in utter failure (the big crumbly mess, which I'm not sure if I've mentioned). Evan said he'd never heard of that happening and couldn't think of how or why the fudge would turn to crumbles. I suggested possibly it was the soy milk I used? I knew the recipe was going to turn out badly because I was already improvising in the first step. Anyway, yes, apparently something about fat content and milk and soy and well...you need to use whole milk. Anyway, then a very small and simple recipe came to me (literally, its the smallest recipe ever, not bigger than a quarter in size). I tried that one (thank you Adam) and it was actually quick and easy and made perfect fudge! I made it twice actually, it was a big hit and now I don't really need fudge again for a long time. It was very sweet. In fact, that's what most people said when they tried it (at least it's better than my aunt's reaction to my thanksgiving corn pudding, which was, "it's...interesting...").

The car is still trucking along. Ya know, it's eternally filthy and forever making weird noises. Still needs brakes and probably a lot more TLC than I can give it. Sometimes I lose track of it and go weeks without seeing it. It's OK - I know it's still there. In fact, I saw it yesterday!

And just for good measure, I'll add one little anecdote from this morning. I went to this food court type place near my apartment. It's called "Epicurean & Company" - the sign says "A Taste of Pleasure" - honestly for the longest time I thought it was an adult shop, but then I realized one day that it was serving food, which actually looked kind of good, but I never had time to get in there. So today, in an egg and cheese quest, I went in there. I asked the man behind the grill if he could make egg and cheese? Yes. On a bagel? Yes. So I see him toasting a bagel, and then buttering it, so I thought. It looked like a lot of butter, but who am I to turn my nose up at excessive buttering - maybe he knew something I didn't. No, he didn't. He finally hands me the bagel. I say, "This is an egg and cheese?" and he said "Yes, I already put the cheese on." I said, "Egg and cheese?" And he said, "No, sorry, it's cream cheese." So he takes it back and puts some egg on the grill. He asks, "What kind of cheese, or is cream cheese OK?" To myself I thought, "No, cream cheese is not OK. Not OK at all!" So I respond, "No, EGG and CHEESE, like American cheese?" At this point I was very worried that he was just going to scrape off the cream cheese and put the egg and cheese on it, but at that point I was thinking, "it' close enough." I see him take out another bagel, struggle to cut it open (was it stale? frozen? why was it so hard to cut?), toast it and put the egg and cheese on it. Seems OK, right? I get home and realize it was a cinnamon raisin bagel! D'oh!