Becoming Dana.

As some readers may or may not know, I, perhaps famously by now, ate a peanut off a bus seat last fall. To my defense, it's not like I found a peanut on the seat and thought, "Man, I'm famished, that sure looks good!" Rather, I was eating a bag of peanuts myself when one slipped from my fingers and onto what may or may not have been my lap. I quickly snatched it up and ate it to my friends' horror! Also, in my defense, no one can be certain that peanut wasn't in fact in my lap and not on the bus seat as is alleged. Perhaps if I had thought about it for another few seconds I wouldn't have eaten the peanut, but I really don't think it's the worst thing in the world.

A few months later, I was on a plane to the Bahamas with Tanya. I had a bag of carrots with me. When we landed in the Bahamas I offered her one. She sneered at me, "Ew, those things have been in your bag all day?" To which I replied, "So? They're carrots. They don't spoil." I then proceeded to explain to her about the peanut ("but it was MY nut" became my battle cry). Mockery ensued at my expense.

I have enough analities, I don't need one more (Note: "analities" may or may not be a real word, but in my Blogdom I demand everyone suspend disbelief and accept any word I use).

Later that evening we found ourselves playing Connect 4 - the Breezes community Connect 4, which, admittedly, has probably seen a lot of people's hands. We were a little drinkie and yada yada yada, I ended up winning the game and shoving a handful of Connect 4 pieces in my mouth in celebration of my win and to show Tanya that germs are nothing of which to be afraid. Again, if I had thought about it for another second, perhaps I wouldn't have proven my point in this way, but it happened. She was, understandably, disgusted, as was everyone else that eventually heard. It's not like anyone's going to catch Typhoid Fever from some Connect 4 pieces or some old carrots (although you might get it from going into the Argentine jungle without a vaccination; you also might get yellow fever or malaria).

So all that background was meant to show that I am far from being a germaphobe. But germaphobia is creeping up on me having been in NYC for the past few weeks. I've started washing my hands when I get to work or get home - that doesn't seem too crazy? I also started washing the tops of soda cans before I drink them - also doesn't seem too crazy? But I'm starting to ponder how far this obsession is going to go.

Yesterday, I was on the subway and this guy had the most vile cough and he hacked right on me (compare this to the guy who nearly spit on me in DC or the guy who ashed on me this morning). I sat there holding my breath as long as I could until the germs settled, or at least until they had infected someone else first, possibly losing potency.

I also often now find myself on the subway thinking, "Why is this person standing so close to me?" I'm not afraid of holding the hand rails, although today, I did have to do the subway surf technique because I couldn't find a handrail. And when I do have to use a hand to hang on I do try to quarantine it until it can be appropriately sanitized. But that just makes good sense.

This is also a good time to say that New Yorkers are crazy. Yesterday, I went to step onto a subway and then realized, "no way, not gonna fit." But before I could back it up some tiny little woman behind me was shoving her way and everything in her wake (i.e., me) into the subway. No exaggeration - I was literally lifted up by my arms, feet dangling, and was propelled into the subway. Everyone was looking around, sneering at me, like I was doing this! It's ok though because once we got on the subway some guy lifted up his arm and "accidentally" hit her in the head with his elbow. He apologized but I wanted to lean over and say, "It's ok - she was the one pushing." I didn't obviously, because I'm not crazy, but I gave him a knowing glance that his "accident" was cool with me.

There's also this little old man that waits for the 8:02 train from RVC with me. He looks so innocent. He looks just like the kind of little old man I would give up my seat for, but I wouldn't now (ok, I probably still would just because he looks so feeble, but I would do so begrudgingly). He waits and then pounces. He's always the first one on the train. He knows the precise location the door will open. On Monday, I saw him talking to a much less aggressive train boarder and I thought, "ah, today's the day, she's gonna bring him down and he won't be the first one on." But alas, he quickly ditched the woman when the train pulled up and stepped right up, nearly knocking me out of his way. (I have a suspicion that the train conductor is actually lining up the train doors with him and not the other way around). One of these days I'll beat him. Oh, no, no, not literally "beat him," beat him as in beat him onto the train - but that's really neither here nor there.

I also think New Yorkers are crazy because they will walk out into the street long before the light has changed, practically into oncoming traffic, in anticipation of the light changing. It's insanity, but I can dig that, at least its productive. Ever walk through Times Square after 5pm? You have to walk in the street to avoid the crowds. I had to run to keep up with my brother the other day. I also used to think NYC was way too fast paced, but I think I can hang with that too being that in DC most of my frustration was at the slow pace of commuters. (Although I delighted in my 10 minute commute...sigh).

So all that was to basically get to the point that this place isn't so crazy after all. Oh, but I fear losing my mind to germs and germaphobia.


Next up: maybe some pictures from Argentina and some discussion of the trip?

30 Before 30!

So, this morning, I was coming out of the shower. My damp foot met with the dry polished wood floor outside the bathroom and I nearly fell to my death. I didn't fall though and I didn't die obviously, but it got me thinking...what do I want to do before I die? And then I thought, why wait till I die, how about before I turn 30? So I made a list of 30 things to do before I turn 30. And it's almost exactly 18 months away!

(Ok, the above story is slightly fictional. I did slip coming out of the bathroom this morning, but really I'm just using that as an excuse for not posting this list on 3/20, exactly 18 months till my 30th birthday. In fact, I started the list the day I got back from Argentina and only just finalized it this morning after my near death experience coming out of the bathroom. It's been a busy few weeks - give me a break).

This list could've been slightly different but the past 6 - 12 months I've actually done a lot of the things that I would've once put on this list, like "Visit Sonoma." So I'm kind of proud that I've actually done a bunch of things I've been wanting to do, but there are still a bunch left!

Feast your eyes on this:

30 Things to Do Before I Turn 30

1. Shoot a gun/take shooting lessons.
2. Learn French.
3. Take tap/ballet classes.
4. Go to a casino.
5. Do Bike NY again.
6. Take a photography class/digital camera class.
7. Have a full spa day.
8. 100-mile bike ride.
9. Visit Canada
10. Buy real estate.
11. Visit Michelle and Monica in Jacksonville.
12. Finish reading And the Band Played On.
13. Go to a taping of SNL (or another decent late night show).
14. Own at least 15 of my favorite movies on DVD.
15. Get frozen hot chocolate from Serendipity.
16. Take a cooking class.
17. Visit Mom/Dad’s place in Burnt Store Marina.
18. Treat my family to dinner.
19. Finish a Sunday crossword puzzle.
20. Take Pilates classes.
21. Frame travel photos/hang travel photos.
22. Go cross-country skiing.
23. Pay off one loan.
24. Watch all 3 Godfathers.
25. Learn stick shift.
26. Run a 5k.
27. Get a job.
28. Visit a new wine region.
29. Blog more frequently.
30. Read A People’s History of The United States.

Voila!!

I'm still working on a list of my 20 favorite songs.

Have you ever...?

Have you ever truly felt like roadkill? Have you ever done a cartwheel with both feet bound to a board? Try snowboarding. No, it wasn't my first time, but it was probably the first time in my twenties (and definitely the first time in my late twenties). I spent the day sprawled out across the mountain - aching. In fact, it's been 3 days and my shoulder still doesn't feel right. I haven't been able to lift my left arm above my belly button since before Thursday and putting on my coat is difficult. Still, it was totally worth it and despite falling down every 2 minutes (that might be an overstatement), I would do it again. Luckily it was a slow day and there weren't many folks on the mountain because when you're sprawled out across the center of a mountain, the less people threatening to plow into you the better. Also the less ice for you to skid out on the better, but I can't control that. But seriously, my arm still hurts. It wasn't made any better the following day when I gave blood w/ my dead arm (I actually think it's my shoulder).

Have you ever packed for a vacation while you were already on vacation? It's not as much fun as it sounds. This is the first time it's actually been work to go on vacation.

Have you ever gotten really really excited when you're listening to the radio and you realize its TWO FOR TUESDAY!! (Umm, right, me neither)

Have you ever seen the rain?

Have you ever heard a worse love song lyric than "Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you...?" This one's not rhetorical - let's see who's actually reading this post. That is the worst song lyric I've ever heard. I challenge anyone out there (anyone?) to post the worst song lyrics you've ever heard - something that just irks you to think about. You can also post your favorite song lyrics, but that's not nearly as much fun. That lyric is actually Jordin Sparks, "Tattoo." Yes, the song is actually called tattoo and it's actually been playing on the radio.

What's your least favorite love song lyric? (It'll be a miracle if 5 people respond to this).

TGIF

I like how the "poll" I was running closed.

I do not like that I have now fallen up the stairs at my parent's house four times. I fell down the stairs at my brother's house once so far.

I don't like that I've now hit my head 2 times since I've been in NY and stubbed my toe twice on assorted ill-placed objects.

I like how I've decided to start using the word "blog" as all forms of speech (kind of like the Smurfs did w/ "smurf" - smurfy, smurftastic, etc). So as I mentioned in previous posts there's "blodder." My brother turned his website into a blog and I've dubbed him "blogetition." There's the generally accepted "blog" as a noun and blog as a verb.

I do not like the Gold's Gym in Lynbrook. What kind of place has a hand mirror in the bathroom - I can only imagine what people are using it to look at (I suspect they're not checking out the back of their haircut...although maybe they're checking out their "new haircut" - http://youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M - not safe for all moms). Also, why does the gym "now have tanning?" And why are all the men at the gym under 5'5"? I don't like that.

I like how I can wear sweat pants all day long and no one is any wiser (however, as a result, I might be growing dumber). I like how I woke up to 5 inches of snow this morning and I especially like that by the time I got home kid's had already built snowmen in their yards!

I don't like stepping in melted snow and getting my feet soaked.

I like how in 2 days I might be snowboarding in snowy upstate NY. I like (even more) how in 10 days I'll be in sunny Argentina.

TGIF folks!

"Come, as you are, as a friend, as a known memory..."

I just saw "Definitely, Maybe" and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. I was expecting a very corny, rom-com (romantic-comedy) and it was actually not at all cheesy and only mildly predictable. I have no idea how to review a movie without giving away essential plot, so I won't. I'm just saying, I kind of recommend this rom-com. It was a little "When Harry Met Sally" (one of my personal favorites), but I also sensed bits of "The Princess Bride" (another personal favorite). Abigail Breslin was underwhelming, but I definitely fell in love with Ryan Reynolds and have loved Isla Fisher since "Wedding Crashers" (what's not to love).

Happy President's Day folks!

Living with your Parents - It's the New Black

I figure I'll take a moment to highlight some of the pros and cons of living with your parents (err, rather my parents). Considering that I'm still paying rent and all in DC, I don't get to go with the obvious benefits like "no rent." I also couldn't go with "free food" or "always food on the table" because that's also not the case around here. I had to dig deeper into the more obscure benefits (and drawbacks) of returning to the nest, even if only temporarily.

For starters, dishes never pile up in the sink. I'm not sure who or what is responsible, but if you put anything in the kitchen sink, it will be gone but not a moment later. Some say it's urban legend, but I assure you, I put a fork in the sink and within one blink it was gone. Oddly, if you leave anything on the bathroom sink, like my toothbrush and facial wash, it will never move. I can only assume that they're afraid if they moved my toothbruch that I would never find it again and in turn my teeth would rot out of my head.

Along with the benefits of the sink phenomenon, come the drawbacks of what I can only describe as "shoe elves." To describe this a little - no matter where I leave my shoes, they will end up in another place. I've been toying with the elves for the past 2 weeks. For example, when I left shoes by the back door, they vanished, presumably placed in a closet somewhere, never to be found again. When I left shoes at the front door, they ended up at the back door. Now, the really interesting thing is that when I left shoes in the den, a room that is occupied by my dad (presumed leader of the elves) for about 85% of the waking hours of the day (and an even greater percentage of the waking hours of his day), they ended up at the bottom of the stairs, but only after several days had elapsed.

Now, like I said, this house isn't abundantly stocked with food supply, however, presumably, if I placed an item on the shopping list it would appear in the cabinets - definitly advantage if this theory proves true. I have yet to test this theory, but with the regular food runs, I think this could come through. One drawback that comes with this, is that the rents don't seem to be as open to dinner suggestions as one might think. In fact, it was like pulling teeth trying to get them to use ground turkey rather than ground beef in the chili. They (speaking thru mom) made the following excuses: we don't like it (then "they" admitted that "they" couldn't tell the difference); we don't know where to find it; dad's rolling his eyes; and finally, my favorite, we don't eat like that (to which, I'm still wondering, like what?). Luckily, the Scaleres 2.0 (Michael, Katie, Maddie, Livi) live close enough and tend to have a) a well stocked fridge, b) more openness to dinner ideas and c) a good open door policy that allows me to stop by there for food (more often than they probably realize).

Some other advantages: I will say that there exists an overwhelming cable package and a 42 inch flat screen tv (apparently with surround sound), which seems to be availabe after 8pm on most days. I'll also say that I was expecting that if I left my car in the driveway long enough with the gas light on that someone would miraculously fill it up, but that hasn't happened yet - disadvantage. I did manage to get a pair of pants taken to the dry cleaner, which I'm hoping come back at some point.

Some things that are always in the house: chocolate ice cream, cool whip, potato chips, and possibly a pot of "gravy" (what non-Scaleres call "marinara sauce") or chicken soup. Also, there are bottles of poland spring and two britas (although I'm not sure how often their filters get replaced). There is also an abundance of 1970's workout equipment in the basement, which deserves an entire blog post unto itself.
As an aside: in the past 5 days I've hit my head twice, once on the trunk of a car and second on the ceiling beams in the basement trying to ride the stationery bike in the standing position - disadvantage!!

And if I'm ever feeling lonely at about 5:45 am, I can find dad up and moving about, working out, and making coffee (although I might've dreamed that).

Let this be a lesson to any of you pondering a move back in with your parents, or at least with my parents. They say it's the new black, but we all really know brown is the new black.

Happy Valentine's Day!! <3

The Kids' Take on the Giants

On Sunday, my brother told my niece, Maddie, that we were having a Super Bowl party (apparently using the term "party" very loosely). He explained to her that we'd have chips and dip for the super bowl. Later that day, she asked "Daddy, what did you tell me about tonight?" He replied, "I said we were having a Super Bowl party." Eventually he put out two bowls of chips for the girls and turned the game on. I sat there watching (shocking, I know) as Maddie and Livi ate chips. Maddie starts talking and says, "Is this the Super Bowl?" and she's repeating it several times (I think kids just like to hear themselves). I finally say, "yes," and she keeps saying "Is this the Super Bowl?" Finally, I look over at her and notice that she's cradling the bowl of Sun Chips and pointing to it. "Oh...no, that's not the super bowl, that's a regular bowl, this game is the Super Bowl." Unfortunately, I could only explain to her that some games are called bowls, like the Rose Bowl and the Orange Bowl - and between me and Mike, that's all we could come up with. Then we explained to her that in this family the super bowl was a game that had very good commercials. Although, this year, obviously, the game proved to be much more interesting than the commercials. (As an aside, this caused us a slight problem - we paused at half time so they could put the kids to bed. By the time he came back, we watched half time, but the game picked up afterwards that we couldn't fast forward through that and we obviously couldn't fast forward through the commercials. So the ultimate dilemma was reached when running on tivo time. We managed to catch up to just about 5-10 minutes behind the actual game).

Today, I was sitting with Maddie while she was coloring and eating yogurt. Satisfied that she was thoroughly distracted, I turned the tv to the Giants' parade (rather than cartoons). Thinking she's not listening to me at all, I told her that this was the Giants' parade. She doesn't respond for several minutes. Finally, she says, "Are they this big?" as she points to her coloring book. "No, they're a team; they're much bigger than that book," I say. "Are they as big as the house?" she asks. Ah - she heard "giants" not "Giants." I just told her, "yeah, they're huge."